The title to this might cause a number of you to flinch. Be at ease, I’m not about to talk about a mixed-grace message. I’m here to speak about the grace of “and.” To do this, I will need to set a backdrop to demonstrate how this perspective will change your understanding of grace.
Science is the bane of religion. It questions and explains the mysterious things that life demonstrates thereby taking the “God-factor” out of our everyday activities. Today, we live in an era of rational, scientific discovery, and have so since the Enlightenment epoch blossomed across the globe. Religion, regrettably, didn’t join the rest of the world in the evolution of mankind.
Yup, I used the “E” word. The science of evolution is one of those topics that religion hates to bring up, let alone believe in. Darwin created a battle wound in religion’s well-house which it regularly nurses while reaping the benefits of its efforts (see my post Grace out of time for an example). This isn’t the kind of science that I want to draw your attention towards entirely though. What I’m using in this backdrop is a rather recent discipline in the realm known as human development.
Professionals across multiple disciplines have for the last 150 years examined and catalogued numerous findings within the realm of human interactions and their reactions. From these findings, there have been a number of models developed which enable all of us to understand the commonality we all share as we grow up, mature, and ultimately pass into the realm of the great unknown. We’ve all heard and operated from bits and pieces drawn from these studies. I’ll provide a few examples.
A child is born and its entire consciousness is focused upon itself, its needs and feelings. In a word, the child is egocentric. As it advances through childhood, there comes a point where the child becomes conscious of an other, a friend. Their thoughts shift from only about themselves to about the role of the friend in their life. Ethnocentric is the consciousness both display towards each other. Eventually, the child recognizes that there are others outside of their field of vision who also play a role in the unfolding of their environment. World-centric is this form of consciousness. We have all traveled through these stages of conscious awareness. But how do people groups develop their consciousness?
Mankind since the beginning of time has formed itself around clans and then tribes. You were either a member or not. Either/or thinking predominates these communal structures simply because either you belong and hence share in the bounty of the group or you don’t and become an enemy whose intention, the group assumes, is to deprive the group of its livelihood.
From these tribes, society evolved into kingdoms and then nation-states. Outsiders were permitted to reside within the domain provided they adhere to the code of obedience defined within the realm by a king or queen. Larger and more diverse groups make it difficult to impossible for a single person to govern their acts, so institutions are created to administrate the behavior of these groups through laws and codes. Either/or thinking of belonging shifts to either/or thinking of obedience to the law of the kingdom.
I realize that this picture is rather general, however, it offers how an either/or mentality permeates our social structures. It is a subtle pattern of thought that reaches into our entire daily living. Choices; right/wrong, left/right, chocolate/vanilla, paleo/vegetarian, elephants/jackasses, haves/have nots, Patriots/please, any other team, on and on it goes. Always with the same results – exclusion. No one seems to think that this is abnormal simply because it is so ingrained, so basic to our way of living.
(At this very moment, check how you feel by this last statement. How does the term “abnormal” affect you? Do your senses heighten at the consideration you may be operating from this perspective and “abnormal” is not what you would think to call it? Does “abnormal” feel divisive to you?)
Consider one the startling findings within these studies: Fundamentalism. The word sends nervous shudders down the back of almost every individual. Extremist, loyalist, hard-nosed radicals who refuse to be swayed by any other belief or opinion that doesn’t align with their own. Why is this startling? Simply because it can be accurately determined in any person predicated on where they are within their developmental growth across all their various means of intelligence. In other words, fundamentalism is a stage of growth. Its consciousness is ego-centric. It is classic either/or thinking, and according to the studies, up to 70% of the world population is stalled at this stage of development!
Yes, you read that correctly. Stalled, parked, unwilling, or unable, to advance. A perpetual cavalcade of either/or egocentric realities clashing with someone else ensnared in the same hamster wheel. This is normal life?
If you’re a critic of where this is leading, you’re possibly trying to hold onto a tiny piece of turf your brain thinks you’ve captured. “Heretic” is a term you might sense well up inside of you along with the feelings of apprehension, aversion, loathing, and disgust. Perfectly normal. Your territory is being invaded by a thought counter to your survival. Your tribe is affected. Your resources are at risk. Life as you know it is under attack, not by sticks and stones, but by a word, a single word, a word that is counter to your way of thinking. Worry not. This too shall pass.
For the rest of you, the question is probably, “How do you break the cycle?” It is found in a word: And.
Too simple? Consider how often a child goes into a candy store and is given the ability to choose what delights they wish to have. Invariable, either/or makes it an ordeal. However, both/and eliminates all the angst by permitting a joyful cornucopia of sweet goodness. Some of you might disagree with this rational seeing that giving children the ability to have anything they please will lead to…
Really? Is your underwear pulled so far up over your head that you clearly can’t see the point? Fundamentally, you’re mental. Take an “or” out of your life with an “and.”
Both/and thinking is the counter measure to either/or. It is inclusive. Boundaries, divisions, schisms, classes all diminish and vanish when “and” arrives. Its effect is global in influence when people operate under it because it moves consciousness from egocentric to ethno/world-centric and this frightens fundamentalist. Any warnings or teachings against a “world order” are due to the denial of both/and thinking and the consciousness it produces.
Suppose that God, sitting in heaven, looks down on all of humanity and says, “Today, I’m going to save either Tom or Mike.” The name isn’t important, you can insert your name in one of the spots and the name of your spouse or child, or even a parent, in the other. How do you feel with this? Some denominations think that this is quite normal, since they know that they’re the one who will be saved. Is God being fair-minded in this situation? Is this the type of God your worship? (Remember we become what we worship.)
God, of course, does not operate that way. God is love. Love applies to all, not to a select few. God says, “Today, I’m going to save both Tom and Mike, and…” This is His grace at work. A simple “and” includes all of us rather than excludes with an “or.”
Everyone starts with the fundamentals in life thinking only about themselves. Only a few consciously decide to stay there. Some stay there because of a trauma which prevents them emotionally/mentally to integrate into and through this stage of life. The rest grow up and move on. The first step in growth both emotionally and spiritually is knowing how to think “both/and.” In doing so, grace invades your world at a level you’ve never experienced.
Don’t think for a moment that you’re a world changer if you have no desire to eliminate either/or thinking from your repertoire. Change doesn’t happen when your pattern is the only acceptable one everyone must follow. That statement applies to all sides! Both/and; both sides and… The third, fourth, fifth, for however many sides and factions must be included, not in a democratic fashion where majority determines the rules, but republican, where all hold equal representation from the haves to the have nots. That is the way of the kingdom of God. That is the power and grace of “and.”
So whatever conflict, stalemate, negotiation or relational trouble you’re confronting right now, stop. Everyone is correct, however, neither is using “and.” Put “and” into your life. See how grace transcends your inspiration.
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