Taking What Wasn’t Given

One of the main lessons that every parent has to teach their child is not to take candy from the store when checking out unless you pay for it. Time after time this is one of the lessons I hear from adults about their growing up years, back in the day when candy was a penny or a nickel. Often these stories follow with the shame and humiliation which the person experienced by being caught either in the act or having made it to the car and then discovered. Most of these emotions always come when the parent, teaching the rule of responsibility, requires the child to return the good to the store clerk or manager. I’ll bet that you have your own experience just like this and similar feelings attached to it.

Today, I think that most have forgot the lesson of responsibility when taking something that doesn’t belong to us. Let me offer an example: You are nothing more than a simple-minded follower who has absolutely no innate ability to stand up for what you truly believe. I could have used stronger language, but there are children, namely you, who might be mentally harmed, commonly called retarded, from such language.

Question: Did you take offense at what I wrote? If not, what would require you to take offense?

Now the lesson. When someone takes something that doesn’t belong to them it is called stealing. One of the ten commandments clearly states that we are not suppose to steal. If my intention was never to offend you, yet you took offense, you stole something from me that wasn’t yours to have.

Now comes the troubling part to this fickle arrangement. Some people believe that having taken offense, they should return it back to the person they took it from. After all, isn’t that the responsible thing to do?

Ask professionals who works with developmentally delayed individuals (we can’t use the “R” word anymore because it might…) what is the common characteristic which they all display when interacting with people and most will claim how due to their immature nature, they often react without thought of the circumstance which will follow. Maturity is demonstrated by responding appropriately.

Did you react when you stole from me? Or, has maturity formed and dictated a more appropriate response? The highest levels of maturity seriously don’t even deal in this realm in case you’re interested. But that’s not…

Obviously, this small example is designed to make a point about the nature of offense. Often, we take what wasn’t ours in the first place and then feel it well within our rights to return it. The results are apparent on many fronts in each of our lives. Rarely, do we ever consider that offense was never the intention of the other from the beginning.

While this is a lesson in responsibility – we are accountable for how we take the acts of another – it is also a greater lesson in grace. Sure, grace should be the offering made to the other person, yet how about ourselves? If we functioned properly in a grace environment we would immediately recognize that all communication requires grace for both parties due to the limited nature of the language trying to convey the message. No one truly comprehends the subject matter from the same perspective as you, so cut them some slack (also known as grace) for their ignorance. You’re just as ignorant too.

Wait a minute! Did I sense your hand trying to take something which doesn’t belong to you?