Belief, frankly…

I have a friend who is fond of bracketing his comments to me with, “Can I be honest with you?” Despite how many times I respond to him, “No, just continue to lie to me so that your reality isn’t hampered by truth,” he still continues to employ this default response – not only with me, but everyone he has a conversation with! How many of you know someone like this?

There is a line from a Don Henley song The Heart of the Matter, which states, “…the more I know, the less I understand…” I’ve reached this point in my life. Sure, we’ve all had the experience of adolescence where our wisdom far exceeded that of our parents; followed by the humbling recognition that our parents were far more wise in our conflation of ego then we surmised. Yes, I too, am an adherent of the “fake it until you make it” propaganda offered to new parents and it worked well for me while raising three children into adulthood. However, ego aside, I know far less than you’ll ever know about. I have an image to uphold, after all.

Which brings me to the point of this diatribe. How does what you believe matter to anyone but yourself? If your beliefs only apply to you, what difference what does it make if someone else holds a different set of beliefs?

When I was young, I believed in a fat man who landed on our roof at night in a sleigh pulled by reindeer who could fly. Today, well, I believe in fat men – actually, men of all diameters. When I was young, I was led to believe in six days of creation. Today, light-years have supplanted such a novice notion. Age, or maturity might be a better term, has categorized many of my beliefs into “been there, done that; now I own the marketing rights to a designer shirt concession.”

Some might think that I’m claiming that beliefs are relative; I, however, don’t believe some of my relatives know there is a belief to be claimed. Do I dismiss truth then, some might interject? No, if truth is really what matters. Before you get all puckered up over that statement, grab a glass of lemonade and cool down while you continue reading.

I fully recognize that the primary reason most people believe anything is simply to fit in with others. Face it, arguing the benefits of red sauce over green sauce only has importance in New Mexico. However, many of our strongest held beliefs, from God to country and everything in between, are simply there to isolate us into categorizes useful to marketing programs by big corporations and political operatives. “Divide and conquer” in the mantra of these advocates for “unique” privileges.

Have you ever considered just how far humanity can go in this division of belief and still function? Let me make it simple for you: IT GOES UNTIL there is only ONE person, you. At that point, you no longer fit in with any one. Then what happens?
Well, then I guess we finally get to the heart of the matter in all things – Grace.

The greatest thing I love about grace is that no matter how right or wrong any of us are, in grace we’re still ONE. Your beliefs are not mine – and can I be honest with you, I’m glad they’re not – grace is the only thing which makes our relationship work.

I offer grace to you so that in your bravado, you can play the fool without me having to agree with you, expecting the same in return. Our relationship is strengthened by the simple belief that comes from knowing we’re on safe ground with each other. However, if you, or I, ever believe that one of us is of greater worth, higher value, superior in any fashion, grace fails. Grace is lost in inequality. If you’re looking for social justice, where all are deemed equal in the eyes some higher deity, grace will not permit you to classify, separate and diminish through superiority, despite what you believe.

Remember that song I spoke about from Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter? Guess, according to the song, what the heart of the matter is: Forgiveness. Grace abounds in an environment of forgiveness, no matter what you believe, honestly. Be yourself by allowing others to be themselves for their own sake, not yours. Forgive yourself and grace follows. Believe it.