It's me, mike hillebrecht

Life. All of us experience life either as another obstacle to get around, over or through; or as a school, where you get knocked around until you learn from your mistakes and graduate to the next lesson. I’m not much into the dualistic mentality these two offerings present and tend to view life in a “both/and” frame of mind. Life is a school where you must navigate a course filled with a number of obstacles, each one trying to kill you – mentally, emotionally and physically – and it is your responsibility to learn how to overcome these issues by recognizing their pattern of occurrence throughout the journey you’re on. At the end, after having traveled your path with success, and sometimes failures, you get the rich reward of…

It gets kinda murky here. Various religions of the world, and even those few non-religions, have a view of something “other worldly.” Let’s face it, at the end of your life is a point we call death. You go through life to learn, and then die. What is the point of it all? That is the $64,000 question!

In the western religious framework, the deceased enters into a heavenly paradise and receives judgment for the life they’ve lived. A bad life’s work, according to some strands of believing, will force the deceased to spend the rest of eternity in the darkest regions of hell tormented by unquenchable tongues of fire. Conversely, all faiths abide in the notion that a good life’s work rewards the deceased with a heavenly home and reward. What often is not stressed in either of these options is…

Advances in medical treatment, from hand washing to prescription drugs, have today created an entirely new segment of people who have encountered near-death experiences (NDE). These people of all ages and social classes have truly died for several minutes and then been revived. Many of these people have documented stories of “other-worldly” experiences meeting loved ones who had gone on before them; or of seeing a bright light at the end of tunnel they traveled through; or being enveloped in an atmosphere of unimaginable love and serenity; and of course, the proverbial “life-before-my-eyes” sequence – the point behind my writing this.

The NDE people who experienced this cinematic cavalcade of past life experiences all admit that they were being judged. The criteria for judgement was one simple question which they were asked in a variety of forms: “Did you learn to love?” The judgement, which came after viewing an entire lifetime of actions and their results upon all the other people the deceased interacted with, was rendered by the harshest of judges – the deceased!

There are testimonies from a multitude of people who claim how a person who experienced an NDE is different in their interactions after the NDE then how they were prior to it. They claim how with the NDEr there is a greater level of compassion for all people, a humility which allows people to reach for their highest aim. It’s as if they’ve passed through a place and found their purpose to living.

Now I know there are many of you who will dismiss this writing because in your fundamental mindset there is no record of any of this in your bible. However, I think there is, and plenty in just the New Testament alone. The trouble is congregations have never been shown what to look for. Recall, all these advances in medicine really haven’t been around except for the last 150 years. Coming back to life wasn’t something that was very possible when a person died back in the days of the bible writers. Except…

Saul was a vile, maliciously religious man who felt it his duty to protect Israel from anyone who believed that a crucified criminal was the messiah and king. Sure, we all know how Saul persecuted the church in its early days by killing and imprisoning the earliest believers across the land. Then one day while on his way with his companions toward the city of Damascus to arrest the followers therein, something happens to Saul. I know how the story reads, yet, how do you explain something you’ve never encountered, something which your language isn’t prepared to define? One thing all who experience an NDE confirm is that there aren’t words capable of describing or even able to capture the magnitude of the event.

What if Saul, knocked from his donkey, suffers a blunt force trauma which enables him to have an NDE. Consider how this event forever changes the character of Saul and causes him to be called Paul.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. (1Co 13:4-8 MSG)

Did Saul learn to love? Maybe Paul has been telling us the answer to this question all along, but we never considered how he came to the answer. Paul claims in 2 Cor 11:23 that he suffered many deaths – not fictious ones – but life stopping events which catapulted him out of his mortal form into a spiritual condition. I believe that it is quite possible that Paul suffered one of these events just prior to his first visit to the city of Corinth. I make this claim based upon the reading of 1 Cor 2 where I feel that Paul is trying to convey a reality which he just encountered but has a limited language set which would enable him to confidently proclaim his truth.

Consider how Paul becomes recognized as the apostle of grace, a revelation which comes through multiple NDEs. How could it be any other way? A person must discover whether the most important lesson in life – did you learn to love – will allow them to return grace-filled in order to resolve the acts they have done which they alone judged as unloving.

While a rise in NDEs may be a recent occurrence in humanity, the results, which have been documented in multiple studies, have the same impact on the lives of people just as Paul experienced in his life. If life is a school where we are here to learn a valuable lesson, did you learn to love, seems to determine whether we live in the grace we need to accomplish it. It might not be simply that we need to die to self as much as we simply just need to die so we can see our life pass before our eyes and judge our actions. Then we’ll truly know if the lesson has been learned or we need to come back a resolve the breach.

In this post I want you to suspend all you think you know to be…

I’m going to make the brash assumption that as you grew up, just like I did, there were a number of stories that influenced your perspective on life. These stories, their characters, the escapades they endured, the obstacles the hero overcame and the prize which was gain as the result helped shape and mold you, in a small to large fashion, into who you are today. I’m not talking about stories you read out of the bible – while noteworthy in their own right – I’m talking about stories like the mighty Cassey at bat, Robin Hood, King Arthur and the knights of the round table, John Appleseed, Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey; even Indiana Jones and Harry Potter.

While each of these stories, and any which you may have feasted upon that I haven’t mentioned, have grand narratives that a person can get lost within and emulate, we recognize, hopefully, they are merely make believe, fiction, fantasies. They can be described, and often are categorized as myths.

According to Wikipedia, Finnish folklorist Lauri Honko offers a widely cited definition for myth:

Myth, a story of the gods, a religious account of the beginning of the world, the creation, fundamental events, the exemplary deeds of the gods as a result of which the world, nature and culture were created together with all parts thereof and given their order, which still obtains. A myth expresses and confirms society’s religious values and norms, it provides a pattern of behavior to be imitated, testifies to the efficacy of ritual with its practical ends and establishes the sanctity of cult.

Honestly, that sounds good for some of the older stories, but how can you apply this definition to stories like Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, or any of a broad swath of narrative which inspire us to reach beyond ourselves in order to pursue a higher calling? Finally, what in the world does all of this have to do with grace?

For a number of months now I have been deeply embedded in a field of study which I can truly say has redefined my entire understanding of the grace message. To this end I wish to offer a definition of what I believe will facilitate my point from here on. What is a Myth?

A myth is a narrative, using limited language to define or describe an alternate reality. It is not a make-believe story, a parable or allegory created to make a point. It is an event which defies descriptions or articulation yet succumbs to the constraint of language to create a stepping stone into a realm beyond perception.

This is the nature of grace. We don’t have a clue, still to this day, what Paul was trying to describe to us. Yes, we’ve taken two thousand years to break it down, parse away the chaff and arrive at we think is the truth, the kernel that contains all Paul meant. We still miss it despite all the efforts of the greatest theologians of the past and present to enlighten us. Why?

Paul experienced an alternate reality, possibly many times, which he grappled with trying to describe, using the limited language he possessed, for those of us who haven’t experienced it yet. If you question my assertion of this, look at the following to gain a possible understanding:

I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knows;) such a one caught up to the third heaven. And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knows;) How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. Of such a one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities. (2Co 12:2-5)

Paul is talking about himself in this passage, yet he can’t seem to reconcile what occurred was to him – and this is after fourteen years! In the terms of today, this is the description of a near death experience. Paul is attempting to convey what happened to him when, in one of his many deaths (2 Cor 11:23), his spirit ascended into the heavens. What Paul witnessed there he has offered to us throughout his writings apparently being careful not to divulge what he heard. Paul’s entire message is the articulation of what he experienced in one, or multiple, near death experiences. This includes grace.

People have often expressed their difficulty in understand what Paul is trying to say throughout his writings. Duh! Only a dead man can understand what he means. If you’ve had a near-death experience, then probably there isn’t any issue – it probably feels just like being home. However, not many of us have had the luxury of experiencing this type of event in life, so we must muddle through as best we can, hoping that a revelation will open up the alternate reality Paul encountered for us. Until then, grace will forever be a myth, an articulation of an alternate reality using the limitation of your present language. Unless we recognize and accept this simple truth, grace will seem make-believe, a simple fantasy.

Cancer.

If there was ever a word that can generate more fear in us than this one, truly I don’t want to know it. The “Big C” immediately causes a course correction in the lives of everyone. No more living life the way you want to – these are the consequences for…

Depressing right? Who wants to even think along these lines, after all, you’ve got a life to live.

Any way you want to slice it, cancer always evolves into a discussion about you and your needs, whether you have it or someone you know has it. Ego hates the possibility of being detached from its host.

Consider how cancer is basically a cell that has gone rogue and is now terrorizing the community it lives within just like a suicide bomber on a jihad. Its fundamental task is dominating the territory, taking no prisoners while striving to gain more ground through aggressive re-population techniques. As weird as it might sound, cancer has an ego too – its needs come before anything else.

What if humanity, all 7.5 billion today and those who have gone before us, were not as independent as we have been led to live to be? Sure, you are as unique as the person next to you, but are you really separate or apart? What if all of us are part of one collective…for lack of a better term, let’s say consciousness. A great big thought!

Practically every mystic has tried to convey this concept to us over the ages, yet doctrines and dogmas have pigeon-holed it simply because losing control by a few over the masses is a higher fear than sharing a common origin. Ego or cancer. Same result.

According to the western tradition defined by the writer of the Fourth Gospel, the messiah, in communion with the deified image of his Father, seeks to convey the truth of their collective consciousness upon those who have, and will, follow his teachings. “…they be one as we are one…” is not a claim of egoic superiority by any stretch of the imagination. This man knew he was about to be arrested, tortured, beaten and killed. What kind of ego would say, “Come on boys, let’s do this together!” when none of his followers were certain about who they were committed to? Yet, the mystical reference remains: we are One.

Scratch any one of us hard enough, and despite the ideological colorings we display, the red of our life stream is the common denominator to our single nature. Your thoughts and aspirations, noble or ignoble, are not you. Even your actions upon these thoughts, are not you. In a collective consciousness, they are all of us.

Before you think I’ve gone off the socialist deep end of this topic, hear me out. Cancer cells are malevolent actors in a body and the body is designed to rid the body of such elements, sometime successfully, often only through some other form of intervention. Either way, the collective is affected in its entirety.

Our ego, its thoughts and aspirations, work within a collective whether we realize it or not. Malevolence isn’t just something found in a cell, it has a full-blown body of thought and actions carried out in a variety of manners by members of a collective within the Collective.

The Collective Consciousness of mankind has always dealt with the one who wasn’t willing to be one with all beings. Yes, it might have taken “time” for the affect to manifest, however, time heals all wounds. Sometimes, we run out of time before we see the healing, but this doesn’t mean that the process isn’t running its due course. It is what we do in the gap called “expectation” that forms our character.

When faced with terminal illness, there is an action which seems to appear without thought. Love. Sure, there may be fear, dread, angst, hatred, bitterness, denial, and a whole array of other emotions and feelings expressed at this moment, yet love seems to be the cream that eventually rises to the top.

Regrettably, it has to rise. It couldn’t just be at the top already; which means that it is a process. Jesus commanded those who follow him in the unity of his paternal relationship to love one another. Command. Why do we need to be told to love? Why am I not allowed to love whomever I want whenever I want? What does a command require that a natural inclination doesn’t? Grace-filled purpose.

Should my ego declare that I don’t need to love you, am I acting as a rogue cell in the collective consciousness of humanity? If my ego sees you as one of those who are against me, who is the rogue cell in the collective consciousness, you or me? If my talking-point is vindictive towards your talking-point which I see as vindictive towards me, who really has gone rogue?

“This command I give you…” Yes, we have differences, or better yet, we have egos. Yes, our ego gets in the way of others more often than not. Yes, our definition and acts of love are often hypocritical to those we think we are being loving to. Yes, our ego betrays our sense of self-worth. Yet, it is commanded simply to promote the collective consciousness through grace-filled acts. We don’t have to like it (and we often argue, fuss and fight against it), but it is the only solution to our chemo-alternatives. In the scheme of the collective consciousness, you are not your own. Paul got it. How about you?

Between the ideologies of Left and Right is a line. A border, the demarcation of tolerance which all parties recognize as the defining moment where, once crossed, allegiances to the former are severed. (As a matter of fact, up to 99% of the population does not even have a clue to the history of Left and Right and the line which created them. That is food for another time.)

Most of humanity never considers the implications of such political jockeying. We simply see the line separating order and chaos. We walk this fine line moment by moment in our daily struggle to exist in the maelstrom which surrounds us. Our being is defined in the choices, minor and major, made in the balancing act of walking the line.

There are times when we wander into the realm of the left, the chaotic tumult of denigrating forms and functions. We encounter the debilitating morass of deconstruction and the disorienting swamp of relativism. Up is down and down is up is the only understanding which applies – until even this is turned inside out because it is too “traditional.” It would appear that there is a portion of the populace which relishes the habitation of this environ, yet, most seek every opportunity to exit even the faintest whiff of the air which wafts about this realm.

Stability, order, conformity are the hallmarks of the right side. If it ain’t broke, means there is nothing wrong with it. Keep your hands off. From the right there are clear delineations of justice and infractions of these rules have a punishment assigned to them. Conservation of the status quo is priority one. Change, while it can happen on the right, is not swift. It follows a long, thoughtful introspective course which will not accept chaotic forays into the surreal simply to contrast the vibrancy of the line. The deeper into the right of order, the less the shades of grey reside.

Morality lives on the line. Many might believe otherwise but that is to make morality relative to which side your feet are firmly planted. To live a high moral life does not mean to live by some codified standard birthed and cemented in an orderly, stable milieu. Conversely, a “devil may care” arrogance from a chaotic state lacks the potential required to claim any moral underpinning. The line, with one foot in order and the other is chaos, is the high moral ground. It requires constant vigilance to principles of justice, right and wrong. It must navigate daily situations with grace and finesse, applying equal measures of relativism and pragmatism in order to keep itself fixated in the justifiable truth of the line.

Each party, occupying their respective position along the line, seeks to claim a moral superiority over the other without recognizing that the line maintains the tension to each of their entitlements. Many are the actors (I use this term correctly) from both camps who wish to swoop into the opposing side and dramatically appeal to the sensibilities and reasonings of their naïve audience, hoping to evangelize even just one to their noble cause. And yet, the line waits for the toll to be exacted from all who wish to cross it.

Today, all around you, actors are plying their craft of persuasion to bring you up to the line, hoping you will cross. Some will, some won’t. The line cares little either way. You, on the other hand, will always care about the line once crossed. Its boundary will forever shape the morality you adhere to. It holds no allegiance to either side, so you’re unable to claim it as an ally wherever you decide to venture. The line is a signpost warning, or welcoming, you into a different state of being. The line is your first and last harbor of responsibility to yourself and others. Approach with caution.

I have a friend who is fond of bracketing his comments to me with, “Can I be honest with you?” Despite how many times I respond to him, “No, just continue to lie to me so that your reality isn’t hampered by truth,” he still continues to employ this default response – not only with me, but everyone he has a conversation with! How many of you know someone like this?

There is a line from a Don Henley song The Heart of the Matter, which states, “…the more I know, the less I understand…” I’ve reached this point in my life. Sure, we’ve all had the experience of adolescence where our wisdom far exceeded that of our parents; followed by the humbling recognition that our parents were far more wise in our conflation of ego then we surmised. Yes, I too, am an adherent of the “fake it until you make it” propaganda offered to new parents and it worked well for me while raising three children into adulthood. However, ego aside, I know far less than you’ll ever know about. I have an image to uphold, after all.

Which brings me to the point of this diatribe. How does what you believe matter to anyone but yourself? If your beliefs only apply to you, what difference what does it make if someone else holds a different set of beliefs?

When I was young, I believed in a fat man who landed on our roof at night in a sleigh pulled by reindeer who could fly. Today, well, I believe in fat men – actually, men of all diameters. When I was young, I was led to believe in six days of creation. Today, light-years have supplanted such a novice notion. Age, or maturity might be a better term, has categorized many of my beliefs into “been there, done that; now I own the marketing rights to a designer shirt concession.”

Some might think that I’m claiming that beliefs are relative; I, however, don’t believe some of my relatives know there is a belief to be claimed. Do I dismiss truth then, some might interject? No, if truth is really what matters. Before you get all puckered up over that statement, grab a glass of lemonade and cool down while you continue reading.

I fully recognize that the primary reason most people believe anything is simply to fit in with others. Face it, arguing the benefits of red sauce over green sauce only has importance in New Mexico. However, many of our strongest held beliefs, from God to country and everything in between, are simply there to isolate us into categorizes useful to marketing programs by big corporations and political operatives. “Divide and conquer” in the mantra of these advocates for “unique” privileges.

Have you ever considered just how far humanity can go in this division of belief and still function? Let me make it simple for you: IT GOES UNTIL there is only ONE person, you. At that point, you no longer fit in with any one. Then what happens?
Well, then I guess we finally get to the heart of the matter in all things – Grace.

The greatest thing I love about grace is that no matter how right or wrong any of us are, in grace we’re still ONE. Your beliefs are not mine – and can I be honest with you, I’m glad they’re not – grace is the only thing which makes our relationship work.

I offer grace to you so that in your bravado, you can play the fool without me having to agree with you, expecting the same in return. Our relationship is strengthened by the simple belief that comes from knowing we’re on safe ground with each other. However, if you, or I, ever believe that one of us is of greater worth, higher value, superior in any fashion, grace fails. Grace is lost in inequality. If you’re looking for social justice, where all are deemed equal in the eyes some higher deity, grace will not permit you to classify, separate and diminish through superiority, despite what you believe.

Remember that song I spoke about from Don Henley, The Heart of the Matter? Guess, according to the song, what the heart of the matter is: Forgiveness. Grace abounds in an environment of forgiveness, no matter what you believe, honestly. Be yourself by allowing others to be themselves for their own sake, not yours. Forgive yourself and grace follows. Believe it.

Across the western landscape of religiosity, within its structural bastions most commonly known as church, adherents are disappearing. No, the long sought-after rapture has not occurred so much as the depressing reality of this present day not aligning with an outdated mode of addressing the issues common to all humanity. The elephant in the room is that religion, as presented to the western world, is not relevant. Before your knee-jerk tendencies kick in, give me an opportunity to explain a cultural phenomenon which might be behind this.

The “N-word” is a hot topic for a variety of very valid reasons. Socially oppressive stereotypes blast onto the scene whenever the word in issued, in whatever form, verbal or written. Even employing it within this stream will present my entire message, heretofore void of any use of the word, as suspect to nefarious intentions predating my birth. The associations which this one word conjures up in the minds of many are all valid expressions of how this one word holds such a strong sway over the ability to effectively communicate in the world today.

Many have attempted to navigate the rocky shoals of social discourse, both public and private, as this word has been fired over the broad side of our vessel of choice. Social systems have gone out of their way to accommodate the angst of a people who, rightfully, resent the entire panorama of classifications which ensue from this word’s use within the public arena. Great strides have been made from the efforts of those committed to seeking equality among people of varying hues, however, there is a resistance which is unsuspecting. It is founded in the language of the church and has been passed down for more than two millenniums within a single word: redeemed.

I want you to consider this for a moment as the twenty-first century individual that you are – not as the first century person the biblical narrative was written to. When people of faith proclaim that they are, “redeemed by the blood of the lamb,” what is the present-day equivalent to this metaphor? Yes, the claim is a metaphor. It depicts something deeper than its appearance, something which affects the actions and character of people across the sweep of time.

Redeemed. To buy back. There are no shortcuts to the meaning here. An economy of exchange transacted upon a person by two parties. Slavery. Oppressive servitude to one master transferred toward another master for an agreed upon valuation of worth.

The blood of the lamb. Death. Sacrifice of an innocent victim by the hands of a mob, as a political means to maintain class superiority.

Marry them together: Oppressive servitude to one master transferred toward another master for an agreed upon valuation of worth through the sacrifice of an innocent victim by the hands of a mob, as a political means to maintain class superiority. Again, what is the twenty-first century equivalent to this metaphor?

Some of you might think that this description is wholly relevant to the condition of mankind. However, I would suggest that you are merely parroting the constrained language and attending thoughts of the first century. In an era of bullet trains, quarks and quantas, Big Macs and sushi, Ipads and Bluetooth, you can’t come up with anything better? You are calling people slaves, indentured servants to a divine being, in a world where the term is graphically employed against the sex-traffic industry or harkens to an era where the “N-word” prospered.

Relevance does not need to employ outdated concepts to impact a culture. Sometimes you’ve got to simply admit that there is an elephant in the room and you honestly don’t know how it got there. Maybe it’s time that we allow the events of the cross to transcend into the present using language which is more fitting to our times and understandings. The social justice warriors of today, who have already marginalized the institution religion is based upon, will one day return and focus their ire against the implications of redemption and, despite many gyrations as the flailing of a fish out of water, politics will win the day.

It’s time to tell the Story afresh with the compelling and penetrating language of today which will not only tingle the ears but pierce the heart. The sound of the Logos is not constrained until we slacken our devotion to hearken to the voice crying in the wilderness, “Prepare the way…” If there is an elephant, acknowledge it for the benefit of all, but don’t play around with it by trying to have the blind describe it. It annoys the congregation as much as the elephant.

I’ve been around construction in a variety of capacities for almost my entire life. From design to build to demolition, I have first hand knowledge of how things get put together to either stand tall or fall flat. Regrettably, this skill set is a dying art for many in this current generation. No where is this more evident than in the various religious camps who are being decimated by the message of grace.

Now I know trying to tie construction to religion is big stretch for many, however, Paul claims that he built, by the grace of God, a foundation which no other man can build upon, focused on Jesus Christ (1 Cor 3:10-14). These religious camps of all sorts find themselves in a massive remodeling project once they accept the reality of grace. As with any remodel, the first thing that has to occur is demolition, or what is more commonly called in religious circles, deconstruction.

If you’ve been around any construction workers plying their craft a couple of things that you’ll notice is that it is dirty, and it is often reflected in their language towards one another. Ripping things apart is strenuous and being polite while you’re trying to protect a fellow worker from being leveled by a falling timber or a ceiling of plaster is not a top priority. Grunts and groans will eventually lead to yelling and cussing; then add a schedule delay just to see how explosive personalities can become.

Deconstructing your beliefs is no different. There is a lot of yelling, screaming, cussing, throwing of things, ego-bending humiliation punctuated by red-eye, snot flowing bellowing. And these are on the good days! Mostly it’s just trying to hang onto your sanity with one hand while trying to secure your footing with the other. At the end of the day your mantra of “Is this worth it?” will not be answered. You will persevere though – you have no other place to go – since there are so many watching you to see if you’ll make it. You will.

I’ve been down this path a number of times, and honestly, it doesn’t get any easier. (I’m traversing it right now.) I’ve just learned to allow the process to run its course. I’ve helped many others navigate through the shoals of discontent towards the peaceful waters of discovery. All I can say is that no two people are the same in how they handle the change of a paradigm. Keeping that in mind, let me offer this piece of advice which is fundamental to deconstructing everything. Deconstruction is all about getting to the foundation and this is where all of your work stops.

What got you to where you are? Not the mess, the starting point, the first flirting glance of a supremely, divine romance? This is your foundation. This is what you’re revealing by pulling away the crap of white-washed tombs applied by idle hands bent on containment.

I’ve had people tell me that they’ve lost their faith. This is a good thing! It’s not your faith after all, it’s His. I’ve had far too many confess how they doubt if they’ll ever believe in God again. It’s hard to accept the death of our idols! God still believes in you. There are those who express dismay in not feeling able or even wanting to pray anymore. Great! God has been waiting a long time for you to shut up, so He can finally talk to you. And He will in ways you never thought possible. And then there is the bible…well, there are some things you’ll have to work out on your own, so for now, the lesson is learning how to let it reside on the shelf or coffee table as a book and not as a severed appendage to your arm.

Grace blows the hell out of people minds, their church and friends, their creeds and dogmas. It causes every question to flood into the impact crater of our discontentment and permeates the air with the sickly-sweet aroma of burning prideful flesh. There is nothing like the smell of grace in the morning…almost as good a hot coffee and doughnuts. Deconstruct that!

Living in the shelter of our religious institutions most of us never would even imagine that there is a secret about grace which we’ve never been told. Sure, some might feel that living under the heavy hand of atonement theology, replacement theology, or even prosperity and kingdom theology, when grace enters our consciousness, it appears somehow that an ancient mystery, a secret of mystical proportions has suddenly burst upon our mind illuminating dogma and doctrine handed down from by-gone eras. Happily, we skip through life now encouraged and uplifted in the love of the Father having left behind the stigma of our wretched, miserable Adamic nature which pastors assailed from their pulpits every sabbath.

If you’ve been around grace for any amount of time the first discovery to its impetus in our lives comes from the second page of Paul’s letter to the people of Ephesus where he boldly proclaims that we are saved by grace, not by our works, but as a gift of God. From this injunction we now live a life perfectly in the will of the Father, whether we know it or not. This is the fount of the entire grace message, Paul’s capstone to a life committed to spreading the good news of the works of God in Jesus.

From this passage we have assembled those from far and wide extolling them with the news that distinction of their affiliations, ethnicity, gender or social status has no favorable standing before the gift offered in Jesus. Grace applies to all, works in all, and exceeds the expectations of all. Paul said it; that’s good news to me.

So, let me ask a few questions: Does grace cover lying and cheating? How about fraud and manipulation? Are heretics also saved by grace? If none of these conditions were not covered by grace, then it wouldn’t be grace, would it?

Therein, lies the deep, dark secret of grace. To put it as plainly as I can, Paul never said to the people of Ephesus that they were saved by grace! Subsequently, in reading this letter, Paul never said that to you! Selah.

Have you been lied to, cheated, defrauded and manipulated all this time? Am I a heretic for claiming such blasphemous filth? Is it grace or not?

I can honestly claim what I stated is based on historical evidence. The letter written to the people of Ephesus was penned after the death of Paul, possibly as much as 10 years, by someone who was potentially one of his disciples, and used his name in publishing this letter. Scholarly study has confirmed this repeatedly for many years now and yet we’re still living under the belief of a doctrine which ascribed these words directly from Paul. So why does this matter?

Is it grace or not? Is ignorance covered by grace? Is wisdom and new revelation covered by grace? Are these writings, whether attributed to Paul or actually written by Paul, covered by grace? If it doesn’t matter, is it covered by grace? If it does matter, is it covered by grace?

Grace does not operate from an either/or sense of logic. Its logic is both/and. That is too a secret none will tell you. Its not grace if it doesn’t apply to all – period.

No, this is not about the adventures of my cousin prior to marrying his wife. As grand as that narrative might be, this is in keeping with my ventures of looking into the realm of a kingdom eternal. Allow me to ask you a very fundamental question: When do you think grace began?

We humans are causal beings in our perspectives. Grace, for most believers, is an effect to a cause. Something had to happen for grace to enter into our limitations of thoughts. Most will think of the cross as the fount for grace. This would associate the actions of Jesus as a precursor to grace which would offend many. So, then the baptism of Jesus becomes a demarcation of grace into this realm. But is this an accurate calendar marker?

The writer of the book of Hebrews charges his readers to “…boldly come before the throne of grace…” This is a reference to the divine seat of God’s kingdom. Most people have possibly thought that God reigned from a throne of vengeance with an accompanying ottoman of wrath to rest his feet upon when they weren’t squarely planted on the necks of sinners. Today, thrones are not considered fashionable statements of authority and power, yet in the times when this text was written, they succinctly defined the ruling structure, and its location, for the inhabitants of a particular region. To come boldly before the seat of authority was only available to those who themselves had close familial background to the seat’s occupant. All others could only approach as they had been granted permission by the ruler. Regrettably, this information does not afford us with a date, our causal point of grace.

The writer of the book of Ephesians proclaims in the opening anthem that, “…we were in him (Christ) before the foundation of the world…” Depending on who is translating this verse, the matter of “foundation” can represent the formation of human social/political structure, or it can mean before the creation event of the universe. Rather than following a dualistic either/or path here, let’s follow a both/and narrative to determine a date simply because grace has always been eternal (out of time) and present throughout all human activity (since time).

What makes this so damn important? We have always been taught that grace came to us when we “accepted Christ into our heart.” We are, “saved by grace, not by works should any man boast; it is a gift of God.” Our salvation from a corrupted life only comes by grace. However, when did corruption come that grace was needed? If grace has always been, wouldn’t that mean that corruption, too, has always been?

Now I know that this line of thought will jerk most of you upright. “No, the fall of Adam is when corruption entered the world.” Ok, fair enough. An event. The first recording we have of humanity succumbing to… Yet isn’t grace still there? What would God clothe them for if this wasn’t an act of grace? Would all of the events leading up to the incarnation of Christ be devoid of grace operating as a result of humanities tendencies to act improperly? What about all the civilizations around the globe prior to Jesus; were they not able to access the foundational grace which only came through a Hebrew teacher?

Let me go back for a moment. If Jesus is the event which Christian religion recognizes as the ushering in moment of grace, wouldn’t this mean for the past 2,000 years all humanity has been living in grace? So, the time span in your life before you “asked Jesus into your heart,” when you were told that you were a corrupted being destined for eternal damnation, was actually time lived in God’s grace. Your “asking” simply acknowledged what was already a reality. If you didn’t “ask” for say another 10 years, would it have made a difference?

Yes, there are consequences for our actions. Delays can cause issues we will need to address at those times. However, if grace has been taught to be the reward for abandoning the living of a corrupt life, it would seem that our choice alone brings grace into our life. If that is the case, when then does the gift of God arrive?

Circular logic, right? It’s possible that this might be solved if we recognize that man has never been corrupt in the first place. I know that scare the hell out many of you religious types. However, consider that this thought of man being corrupted is a rather new philosophy in the procession of human development. Aristotle, a Greek philosopher around 360 BCE, proposed that humanity had two natures, one found in the body which was evil and corrupt, and another in the soul which was good, which upon death would be released from its captivity in the body and ascend into heaven where all the good souls reside. His thoughts and teaching were promoted across the region and became influential for many from Alexander the Great to St. Augustine.

At the time that the Greek biblical text was being written, which described the mission of Jesus and the effect of his works, the philosophy of Aristotle and his compatriots was the prevailing paradigm throughout the region. Much of the language offered in these letters was therefore an argument to refute the common knowledge and offer a better understanding of a reality which already had been in operation for many millenniums. Did it work? Look at how fast the Christian movement swept through the “known world” as a testimony to the transformation. Yet, Aristotle’s teachings held a heavy hand and became a focal point in developing the works of Philo, Augustine and many fathers of the church, a sort of Christianity via Aristotle which, regrettably, we still harbor many of its influences.

So, this whole corruption of mankind issue springs from a Greek philosopher. This forms our entire narrative of the means and purposes of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. It misses all references to grace. This philosophy came long after Abraham, Jacob and Israel; missed Moses and the exodus; overlooked Joshua and the judges; disregarded David and Solomon; and it even ignored the Babylonian captivity of Israel, Ester, Nehemiah and Daniel. An entire swath of humanity, which functioned fully and purposely under a foundational environment of grace, seems not to even be on the radar of someone so widely promoted.

Again, why is this so damn important? Baby, you’re not as bad as you’ve been led to believe. As a matter of fact, the entire world falls under this also. It just might be the time for you not to be led anymore and start thinking for yourself. You have always had the grace to do that, so use it.

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Did you ever get an answer, not from someone else, but from yourself? After all, what do other people know about you that gives them authority to shape and form your life from their advice? So, what was your answer to yourself? Was it something you know to be true but feel obligates to suppress because of the embarrassment it would cause you? Or was it something that is trivial, small, minuscule and wouldn’t really answer the meta-nature to your question? Wait – do you even know what the meta-nature of your question is?

Does this question of “Why me?” make you seem egocentric, narcissistic, self-absorbed? Does ‘Why me?’ make your sound like a whiner, a spoiled child – no a brat – who can’t even figure out what end is up even though you’ve lived (fill in the blank) years? How is it possible that this question can be asked and make it seem that it really isn’t all about you?

Did you ask this question during a life-altering event? Or was it after some life-altering event? Have you ever considered how we never ask this question before a life-altering event? Is it because living life is a “life altering event” already? Are you in a life altering moment right now?

What danger, or what boredom, could possibly cause you to question why you are the chosen vessel for all this (fill in the blank) to happen to you? Do these questions annoy you so much that you’re unable to see any value in them – let alone the value to the mere existence of living your life? What if, the “Why me?” question hasn’t been the right question to ask every time you mumbled or shouted it out?

Why not you? How does anyone else experience the thrills of this life like you? Who else is better equipped to handle the discomfort of being around the people who annoy and irritate you? Who would you not wish all of this (fill in the blank) to be heaped upon, pressed down and overflowing in abundance like it seems you’re so certain is happening to you? What good would it do them anyway? Who would you want to thrust this upon in your stead? Don’t you care for them? Assuming you don’t, why would you even consider projecting this mess upon their life? What did they do to deserve your misery or your boredom?

How does all this work with grace? Do you give yourself as much grace as you give others? What can grace do for you? Is it possible, “What do you think grace can’t do for you?” might be a better question? What if the limitation you have of grace is simply because you haven’t properly framed the question? Would you change the question? How would grace reframe the question of “Why me?”

Who is this question being direct towards? Is the question rhetorical or do you have an axe to grind with someone? Or do you question the wisdom of God? Did you think I wouldn’t ask this of you? Are you dealing with God about something you don’t want to do? Or do you not believe in a Creator who has pummeled you with all this (fill in the blank)? If you don’t believe, then why are you crying out, “Why me?”

Have you ever considered that you can’t cry out like this if you didn’t believe that somehow you didn’t get here through your own choosing? Does that sound confusing? How does this fancy you: Would you do this (fill in the blank) simply because you want to see what it would be like? Don’t they call people like that masochists? If you enjoy inflicting pain upon yourself, why would you be blaming God for your predicament?

Is it possible that you have held yourself up as an idol for so long that you’ve forgotten truly how much God loves you? What if the logic of your self-actualized deity can’t comprehend the love of a real Creator, one who knew you long before you were a hormonal gleam in the eyes of your parents? Could “Why me?” truly be the cry of a child who believes they have been abandoned, yet can’t see the encompassing arms of love they’re wrapped in? Wouldn’t that more appropriately be called a tantrum?

However, wouldn’t an adolescent make the same proclamation if they knowingly had over-stepped the authority given to them in the anticipation of a quick reward? Did the reward you were expecting fall through? Are you now left with a world of chaos, which you have no ability to deal with, no skill to manipulate, and no patience to listen to?

Why should you believe me that God prepared all these things as a good work for your life? How can all of this (fill in the blank) hitting the fan be seen as a good work, particularly by God, and especially in your life? Can’t God see that you’re suffering? Doesn’t He care? Can’t He do something – anything – to change this (fill in the blank)? Why you? Why me? Why us, every single one of us, young and old; rich and poor; believers and nonbelievers; humanity in general and particular?

How does a wooden beam, nail pierced hands and feet, a crown of thorns, and tattered flesh answer the question, “Why me?” How does, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do,” become a viable answer to “Why me?” What makes your life, or my life, so different from the one who transcended this question: Why me? Are we now truly in this world as he is?

When will you understand, and finally begin to live the truth, how it has never been about you? If you were in Him before the foundation of the world, hasn’t it always been about Him in you – even when you didn’t know He was there? Is it possible that, “Why me?” is simply the cry, “Why Him?” whenever we experience pain commiserate to our vain understanding of His agony?

Why me? Honestly? Don’t you already know? Then what are you waiting for? Do you need a better question? Or do you need a better answer you are willing to work around? What if you have always been an answer looking for the right question? How would the answer to the question be anything other than, Why me!