It's me, mike hillebrecht

How many of you believe that the world is flat? No one, right? How is it that you don’t believe this simple fact? There is no way that you can tell me otherwise. What is your evidence, your proof to refute the fact of a flat world? Pictures?

Images displayed on a flat plane do not demonstrate that the world is anything other than flat. Maps produce the same evidence. What, a globe? Isn’t that merely a model someone constructed when they wadded up a map of a flat world? After all, who really knows if a globe is even an accurate depiction? How do we know that the shape of the world isn’t more like a cylinder, a donut, or a football? What, you have experts? Who told you they were experts? They’re scientific experts. Doesn’t that mean that they only have a theory too, because isn’t that what science is all about, creating theories in order to prove them? That’s not your kind of expert? Who then could be expert enough to prove that the world isn’t flat?

If you can’t answer that question, then Houston, we have a problem.

Having come this far, you’re probably asking yourself, “What is this nut job trying to say that is relevant to me?” It’s really simple. Today with all that we know, with all that scientific discovery has found from the depths of the oceans, the breadth of our universe and beyond, the width of the human species, and the heights of our natural environment, those who wrote the narrative of Israel, and the one the western church calls the Christ, were all flat-world believers living in an unexplored multi-dimensional reality.

All language is an expression of patterns of belief. This is why you won’t find anything in their writings mentioning computers, electricity, gasoline, steam power, cancer, leukemia, gravity, nuclear fusion, or any of a host of “current” conditions or systems relevant to our day and age. These things were unknown to them, or better yet, indescribable when, and even if, they encountered them. It is here that they had their greatest difficulty attempting to capture with their words the splendor of a Creative being greater than themselves. Words and metaphors often fell flat in what they believed and tried to convey to future generations of flat-landers.

Today, we happily proclaim to one another that God is multi-faceted (a three-dimensional concept) using flat-world support text. Some proclaim the superiority of a flat-world library in our multi-dimensional society insisting that if it’s not found in the writings of this library than it’s not uniquely representative of their world view. A flat-world paradigm falls flat in a multi-dimensional reality every time.

I don’t want you to think that I’m promoting science over belief. What I’m trying to convey is that today we have a greater, richer opportunity to describe our beliefs because of science. It has given us language that, while still limited, enables us to reach vastly beyond the realm of flat-world concepts and metaphors. It has promoted a truly multi-cultural, multi-social, multi-faceted representation of the Creator of all. Some may not see this yet, but that will come as the flatness of their being is inflated by the wind of the new reality in who we have always been. I can flat out confess that there is still a greater realm we haven’t peered into or developed the language to convey and it awaits our gaze of wonder.

Many of you who meander through here might just be wondering what is the purpose of all of this. Me too. That probably wasn’t the response that you were looking for; not a real confidence builder, right? I mean let’s face it, time is limited and you can’t spend all day looking at information that doesn’t have some meaning behind it or will be able to enrich your life in some manner. I know I can’t. Yet, somehow, purpose is only found in what you’re looking for – not what you’re looking at.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no special literary genius or someone who has the pulse of the masses, able to sway their thoughts and opinions on matters of relevance. No, I’m just like you in many ways but not in many others. Let me give you some history of how a normal guy became someone looking for something specific.

In the spring of 1994 the life of my family turned upside down, inside out, stretched butt first through a knot hole, or any other metaphor that can possibly describe the effect of sh*t hitting the fan. My youngest daughter was born paralyzed from the neck down, unable to breath or move on her own. We spent the first six months of her life in the hospital, trying to determine the reason and stabilize her to bring her home.

Doctors, being the natural pessimistic sort who seem at times more concerned about protecting their practice than make a flippant boast which could be seen as a promise, told us that in cases like this (a funny expression now, since they had never seen anything like this) the patient doesn’t typically live past the age of two. The lungs are more susceptible to pneumonia, limbs become dis-jointed because of their weight and need to be amputated which can lead to infections… yada, yada. The grim reaper was definitely outclassed by these heralds of doom and gloom on that day.

Well, fast forward to today. Like training a puppy not to pee in the house, we have had occasion to rub the doctor’s smell center in the crap that spewed from their pie hole that day. We did it with dignity though – they after all are on the same journey we all are. None of the things they prophesied came to pass and our daughter, while still in the same medical condition lives at home with us and we, along with a cadre of nurses and health care aficionados, keep her living and moving through the life of a vibrant young woman with the same hopes and dreams just like any other woman of her age.

In the course of living this life and its demands we did what everyone else has done at one time or another: We cried out for purpose, meaning, help, answers, relief, peace, and life. We sought God.

Situations like ours truly make you aware that there is not a damn thing you can do…ever. We looked for the one thing that only one person could provide: A miracle. You don’t have to have a belief in God to believe in miracles – just look at our political arena to understand this. Our world was in chaos and only a word filled with hope could transform it to its intended design. We developed faith, fostered it, nurtured it, always under the hope of a miracle coming any moment.

We latched onto anyone and anything that supported our view for the miraculous. Suddenly, we were surrounded by people seeking their own miracle, each of us flailing in the sea of chaos trying to keep our head… (drowning is not an apt metaphor here because sanity is more desirable than trying to breath). We all pitched shrines to miracles we never saw but heard about all in the name of stirring our faith, as if our faith ever was in danger of burning in the pot of unreconciled despair. Our belief in a miracle working God took us far and wide, into relationships and out of relationship all in order to grab our intended hope. Yet…

Grace came. No, we arrived at grace. Wearied, battered by prolonged unfulfilled hope, we reached the shores to the last vestiges of a lost realm. No one truly knew what it looked like – still don’t – but it began a process of clearing the debris of thoughts, deep, almost hidden thoughts that were never to be spoken in mixed company or in family gatherings. We began to breath with ease an air distinct yet familiar, until …It sucker punched us!

Structures began to wobble and relationships, once thought to be everlasting, became one of the “this (fill in the blank) is the last thing I’ll ever believe…” kind of ships that pass in the dark soul of the night, ever vigilant for icebergs or cold shoulders. Suddenly, vast communities spawned by the hot inflation of the dogma and doctrine of mankind were pricked by the pierced message of a supernatural love that a kind man extended to all through a last shuddering breath. All, and also nothing, in the same moment. Faith and hope; life and death. Purpose, where purpose shouldn’t be – no it can’t be found, today even as then.

This is the journey I’m on. I know not the destination since apparently, I have already arrived. However, I keep traveling, looking at the sights with new lenses which often appear to be kaleidoscopic in nature. I find myself these days sometimes waxing poetics more than waxing the car; and seem to be immersed in the maps of others who have taken this same journey trying to recognize the ancient landmarks along a “civilized” contour.

Consider this the journal of my path towards a hope I still intend to possess, yet now, without the intentionality of a purpose devoid of process. After all, isn’t your purpose a process … a process of discovery.

Ok folks. Welcome to a new year, again. I have spent the last year reevaluating key assumptions and structures of belief in my life. It has been a work, and it is far from over, but so far, the rewards outweigh the cost. There is a popular bumper sticker that says, “Question Authority.” Yes, we all have a notion of what it is implying, however I want you for a moment to think about your authority, or better yet, what, or who, gives or has given you authority. This is a broad area effecting home and work because there are a multitude of structures we have created and adopted to maintain our perceived authority. Yes, you read that correctly, authority is a perception, and perception is a projection of a belief pattern. Herein lies a challenge I propose to you for this new year.

Since most of us think dualistically, let me offer this example. What do you believe is more vital, justice or mercy? Question what your immediate response was. If it was mercy, what makes it more important? How do you recognize it? Who first demonstrated mercy to you and how has that event defined your understanding of mercy? What is the present standard that you use to measure your mercy level? What limitations or condition have you placed upon it? Who could you never give mercy to, or what would you have to do to give it to this person or people group? Does your view of mercy align with others? If not, what makes yours more or less superior? Where are you more likely to employ mercy rather than justice? What difference would mercy have in those situations where your first response is justice?

These same questions and a whole host of others can be used if your first choice was justice. The exercise is designed to bring awareness to your belief structures. Some will respond that this example is not a valid either/or choice since situations dictate the use of one over the other. I could agree with you if all situations followed a binary conclusion, which life surely doesn’t do. An either/or world view is about as stable as a two-legged chair – it takes a lot of our own effort to keep it from falling over.

This challenge is designed to exercise your beliefs of authority, to move you from the static dogma of either/or comfort-ability to the expansive wonder of both/and possibilities. Question everything; who you listen to, what you watch, who you read (yes, even me). Nothing is sacred except that which we fear to question. Fear tranquilizes everything. No advancement in any field has ever been made when fear was the dominate emotion. It’s time to grow beyond our complacency in the authority we think we have. Give it a shot, you’ve got a whole year to see the results.

Ok, let’s celebrate yet another rotation around the sun. But can we be serious for a moment? Out of the other 364 days why is this day the one that has importance in our celestial journey? Is there a particular spot in the galaxy that was designated by past cosmologists which would forever be known as the starting/finishing point? The Chinese and the Jewish people have different days for their cosmic journey; but we all travel the same path over the same duration of time.

While I’m at it, who was the brilliant person who convinced us to make a series of promises to clean up our act for the upcoming days and months after a serious night of celebrating through over indulgence and mass debauchery? Waking up in the morning with a mouth as dry as the desert, a head feeling like a pumpkin in the spin cycle, and no clue how your wrist watch got on your ankle would make any normal person to rethink their life’s aspirations.

Here is what I know from experience. Tomorrow you will wake up and the path of your life, already determined by the many small decisions and copious thoughts over your life time, will continue onward unabated. Change or no change will happen simply because you decided to permit it, unless it comes as a traumatic event beyond your direct control. However, regardless of whatever you intend in whatever circumstance you encounter, one thing is constant and unchangeable. You are greatly loved and adored and there is absolutely nothing you can ever do to change that, period. Let this be the starting and ending point for your upcoming year.

Five boxes, fifteen years. There they sat. What had once adorned the shelves of my library now rests in an indistinct corner of my overflowing garage. It came suddenly, but it was inevitable, as most things of God are. The subtlety of divine humor didn’t go unnoticed: A move of God into moving boxes stuck in a garage.
The traditions of man make the word of God noneffectual. Doctrines are the traditions man have made to explain the mysterious nature of an immense Creator. Prosperity, faith and divine healing became a doctrine that now resides in the box it feared.

The truth you know makes you free. Structures of belief never make you as free as when you know they can’t contain you in the half-truth box they fabricate around you. Spiritual warfare, authority of the believer, and praying against an enemy who was defeated 2,000 years ago, now resides on cold concrete just as it should have all these years.

The church is not the ideal place to encounter transcendence, or what should be known of as the state of grace. Churches are too stiff and cumbersome to deal with the delicate flow of grace. Books, even well written ones, have the same issues. A conglomerate of words trying to convey the vastness of the universal truth known as love filtered through a myopic world view. Take all the myopic views, bind them individually between glossy pictures and raving reviews from the camp it caters to and you have five boxes over fifteen years.

Thousands of dollars to realize a truth of how bankrupt my understanding had become. Sure, I fit in with the crowd, eager to press the palm of the apostle du jour with the newest revelation and sign up for all the latest…wisdom is the principle thing, right? It is if you tow the party line. But when deep calls unto deep, you suddenly become very aware that shallow people don’t like those who skinny dip.

While it might be tempting to say that the space created in the departure of dogma can now be used for more artistic and decorative beauty, I must recall that it is a library, not the museum it had become. The space of a fifteen-year assembly has only taken an 18-month journey to fill in ten minutes. As libraries go it now challenges you to read through the diversity. It commands you to find the flow of grace in multiple thoughts spanning millenniums. It squashes any notion that God, the true living God, creator of the universe, could be contained in any binding or box. I am… once again drawn by curiosity… and in awe of what little I know to how vast I see the potential laying before me. To be on the move again is as exhilarating as it is liberating…

So, what book are you stuck in? Maybe it’s time…

This is possibly the most religious season this nation has ever experienced. Everyone is praying!

It seems that we’re praying for, or better yet, against a perception of evil. Here is the run down:

Camp A is praying that their candidate will overcome the other. Camp B is praying that their candidate will overcome the other. Camp C is praying that their candidate will be able to sway people from the other two camps to show how truly great their candidate is in hearing the voice of the people. Camp A and Camp B aren’t concerned about Camp C except for the prayer that they don’t want Camp C to pull votes they feel rightfully belong to them and thereby exert an unfavorable influence on their most favorable candidate.

Camp D is fed up with all the camps and is praying that they all will wake up to the utter stupidity of the entire process which hasn’t even addressed they REAL issues facing the nation. Camp E doesn’t believe that there is any god capable of rationally understanding the prayers of the other camps so they’re praying that this all ends soon so that life can return back to normal. Camp F knows the truth and is praying that none of the other camps find out. Camp G…well you get the picture. As I said, everyone is praying.

Have you ever considered how at the heavenly department of prayer, ministers are responsible for summarizing these individual requests and presenting them to the Supreme God of All? There are not several gods battling out who gets to have their camp’s prayers dominate the others. There is just one God, who takes all these prayers and…

Have you ever considered that all these prayers from every camp don’t accomplish anything? I know some of you will take exception to this claim, especially is your candidate or movement is chosen. But what about those camps who didn’t prevail? Were their prayers less important, less vital, less holy? What if all these prayers which demand our will be done on earth, never even reach the ear of God simply because they never pass the “your will be done” test?

What if we prayed: Father, we don’t know what is right for all of us, but you do. Please protect us from us. Let your perfect candidate for this season which is ahead of us be chosen by you, and help us to see and constantly remember this. Let that illusive issue of unity become a manifestation during this time as we seek only the best for all people. Thanks for your love and concern for our well-being at all times and in every season, including this one. Amen.

Too simple? Doesn’t seem to address the issues? Maybe that’s the point. Our issues aren’t the point, His are. So let’s pray from that position the next time we turn on a debate, see a commercial, watch a video, talk with a friend or listen to a sermon about the importance of voting. The issues are never what we can readily see. They are always what are revealed to us in true prayer – prayers which show us the evil we have towards those who aren’t like us.

We live in a world where the mysterious is avoided. We must have everything figured out. Yet, it is mysteries that drive us into new territories. Discovery broadens our ability to communicate more effectively. Children love discovery, adults hate it. So here is a mystery for you. Consider the following:

Eleven men, frightened for their lives, are huddled in a room, doors securely locked and bolted, windows boarded up to keep prying eyes from determining their whereabouts. Emotions are reeling as they try to come to grips with the publicly displayed, politically sanctioned death of their friend just three days prior. Concern for their safety in a city where they are only visitors is their main dilemma as they know how any movement to leave the city will mean their imprisonment and potential death.

As they express their fears and anger towards one another and to the governing forces who are looking for them, their friend, the one who was murdered, suddenly appears before them and exclaims, “Peace.” This is not an aberration of their collective grief-stricken thoughts. This is flesh and bones, poke-a-finger-here-to-test-the-fact reality no one expects. It’s a mystery!

Ok, what you just read is the encounter of the disciples with Jesus, in case you didn’t recognize it. So for a moment, put yourself in that same room, feeling the exact same emotions and experiencing the exact same response of seeing Jesus, who you saw die and be buried just three days prior. Understand, everything you’ve ever been taught by churchianity, hasn’t been developed yet. You’re catching and processing this moment first hand.

So how many of you think that when this event occurred, in the ensuing pandemonium which it unleashed, someone shouted out, “All right now. Let’s be adults here. Calm down.”? Not many of you, right? However, it would appear that this is precisely what happened simply because we have no record of the most important discovery question every child would have asked: Why and how did this happen?

You might be thinking right now I must be sorely mistaken, you’ve got a whole book which tells you, and anyone else who will take the time to read it, why and how it happened. I, cordially, would have to disagree with you on this. What you possess in your book is an attempt by many authors to explain a mystery. Furthermore, you also draw on “attempted traditions” passed down through history to explain a mystery. In trying to be an adult with the assurance that you understand things, you, and I must include myself, have accepted these traditional attempts of explanation to make us feel certain about this mystery.

Over the past several months I have been in a very intense study on this question. Nowhere in any of the gospels, Paul’s writings, the author of Hebrews, or in John’s works do we find an answer to this mystery. Before you jump to a conclusion here understand something: What we have are metaphors that try to get us to relate to an unexplainable situation in some capacity in order to soothe our angst for an explanation. Those recorded metaphors came from the daily dialogue of the people during that period. We don’t possess the exact same understanding of those metaphors today even though we think we do. Our “attempted traditions” have compromised the essence of the original metaphors.

Go into the gospels and look for the question, or better yet, the response to the question from Jesus himself. It’s not there. (This is a mystery in and of itself.) Consider though, how Jesus instructed the disciples how they need to approach the kingdom of God as a little child. Children will ask the questions and every parent knows this. Kids also will not ask and instead trust in the parent’s cares for them. Is it possible that the singularly most important question is not recorded purely as a means to demonstrate our trust in such a great love? Do all the explanations we have simply demonstrate the grown-up response to a mystery which we all as children are called to discover? Have you calmed down in the kingdom of God or does the singularly most important question still pull on your heart?

If you look in the book of Ephesians, you’ll find a claim how the marriage relationship between a man and a woman is a mystery. This is the same with our relationship to Christ. “How and why is this possible” becomes a metaphor in our conversation with the Godhead only as we enter into the relationship. Our metaphor will not fit on someone else just as a marriage can’t be the same by adding a third person to the union. (Notice the use of the metaphor!) Unfortunately, all across the globe, people believe, or better yet, are certain, these recorded metaphors of a relationship with Christ are the “be all and end all” of the discussion. They have grown up in Christ!

In my studies I am becoming ever more aware of this glaring reality of how we don’t know anything but are damn good at faking it as though we do. Some of you upon reading this will assume that I don’t know a damn about this matter as I have presented it, to which I’ll wholly agree. You see I’m still seeking, searching, entertaining the question as a child. I can’t admit to being a grown up to a mystery which still draws me ever deeper into a divine relationship. Being certain just isn’t worth the loss of exploring the wonder and the awe.

Just how much do you hate freedom? Silly question, right? Who would ever consider not being free? This nation after all is the “…land of the brave and home of the free.” Brave, and some self-admittedly not so brave souls have given the ultimate price to insure freedom for the people of this nation, and for others around the globe. However, there were no stipulations on what that hard-won freedom could look like.

The freedom that affords me the luxury of writing these thoughts for you to read also affords you the luxury to respond in approval or disapproval. Therein lies the dilemma: The duality of either/or thinking. Freedom is not about me being right while you’re wrong, or visa-versa. Freedom is about you and I both being right/wrong as are others too. Freedom is both/and thinking.

What if I champion a firm belief in peace? My activities and communication with others promote such a belief. Does this mean I cannot say something which is counter to the common mood if it’s going to disrupt my belief in peace towards others? Am I required to remain “humble” and not bring up a different viewpoint which might be interpreted as being “arrogant, brash, or hostile” from those who don’t share my beliefs?

What if in displaying my belief in peace I refuse to endorse people, companies, products, news, movies or music that glorifies violence? Am I free to call attention to these violent actions as a means to highlight peace if peace is apparently counter to the main-stream thought of the day? Am I permitted to proclaim peace by calling out hatred spoken from all sectors of class (i.e. rich, poor, upper class, lower class, white, black, red, brown, yellow) if “class” is simply used as a tool to create either/or thinking? Does freedom secure privileges to be violent when others don’t accept your depiction of independence?

True patriotism, versus party patriotism, endorses all freedom won which allows all people to express their beliefs, in whatever form, without holding one set of beliefs dominate over another. Yes, all people have opinions; but not every opinion will smell sweet to all. Freedom allows all opinions to be expressed, adopted or discarded without seeking conformity.

If you fail to recognize that there are a number of people groups (i.e. Indians, Negros, Chinese, Irish, Polish, woman, children) who were exploited and marginalized in the formation of this nation, then your story of history is hampering your social development. Believing that your group has the final say in what freedom looks like without considering a different belief from those I’ve mentioned will surely shock, and possibly send you into a tailspin.

Life, in all its various colors, matters when we look beyond the closed doors of our home or community and recognize that peace with my neighbor creates peace in my household. What will I do to insure peace with my neighbor? Should I try to understand how he sees freedom? Does my form of freedom keep him from feeling free in a country founded upon liberty gained by violence? Does my 2nd amendment over-rule his 1st amendment belief, amendments gained by violence to insure peace and tranquility for all?

Agreeing with or criticizing the actions of a few without consciously looking at the underlying issues they are presenting are not steps to creating peace as much as sweeping the issue under the rug, again. I for one, like my rugs to lay flat; yet it seems that the rugs of this nation appear more like the Rocky Mountains. It would appear that there is a vacuum in social discourse which is greatly needed among all of us, not just at the upper levels of government or academia. All voices need to be heard rather than a few who hold the bully-pulpit of the country. Freedom guarantees such luxuries.

Some of you may feel inclined to comment on my remarks here. I appreciate that, however, I dare you share this, whether you like it or not, as a part of your comment and then experience the culture of freedom we’ve created in this nation. Some of you may be surprised.

Again, here is the thought I began this study on: Many talk and teach about grace but few, very few, are comfortable with the price.

In my book There’s Only Grace I explored the reality of the incarnation of Jesus and his birth as a bastard. Yes, you read that correctly. No disrespect intended, simply the fact of being born to an unwed mother. For all the doctrine, glitz and glamour afforded our savior, somehow the social stigma assigned to people of his birth just doesn’t seem to be noteworthy. How can this be a price of grace?

Ask yourself: Am I comfortable with a bastard Savior? Does this trouble you? It doesn’t seem to be an issue with the Father, who in all the planning of creation intentionally made this a point of demarcation, “… born of a woman, under the law…” What was the motive for such a move in the reconciliation of mankind? Did you just see the clue.

Are you comfortable with a price of grace that eradicates distinction? Can you welcome an exclusive Savior who is all inclusive? Is it comforting to know your grace applies equally to even the worst hardened, sadistic, ISIS loving, LBGT, drunken, drug addicted, republican/democratic, us versus them person out there? If I missed anyone in that description, are you comfortable with them being excluded?

This is the price of a free gift which operates from an understanding of reciprocal giving. All really does mean ALL; not “my four and no more…” Are you able to find comfort in opening to the disenfranchised the gift that says “…as you have done to the least of these you have done to me…” Comfort does have a price.