It's me, mike hillebrecht

Five boxes, fifteen years. There they sat. What had once adorned the shelves of my library now rests in an indistinct corner of my overflowing garage. It came suddenly, but it was inevitable, as most things of God are. The subtlety of divine humor didn’t go unnoticed: A move of God into moving boxes stuck in a garage.
The traditions of man make the word of God noneffectual. Doctrines are the traditions man have made to explain the mysterious nature of an immense Creator. Prosperity, faith and divine healing became a doctrine that now resides in the box it feared.

The truth you know makes you free. Structures of belief never make you as free as when you know they can’t contain you in the half-truth box they fabricate around you. Spiritual warfare, authority of the believer, and praying against an enemy who was defeated 2,000 years ago, now resides on cold concrete just as it should have all these years.

The church is not the ideal place to encounter transcendence, or what should be known of as the state of grace. Churches are too stiff and cumbersome to deal with the delicate flow of grace. Books, even well written ones, have the same issues. A conglomerate of words trying to convey the vastness of the universal truth known as love filtered through a myopic world view. Take all the myopic views, bind them individually between glossy pictures and raving reviews from the camp it caters to and you have five boxes over fifteen years.

Thousands of dollars to realize a truth of how bankrupt my understanding had become. Sure, I fit in with the crowd, eager to press the palm of the apostle du jour with the newest revelation and sign up for all the latest…wisdom is the principle thing, right? It is if you tow the party line. But when deep calls unto deep, you suddenly become very aware that shallow people don’t like those who skinny dip.

While it might be tempting to say that the space created in the departure of dogma can now be used for more artistic and decorative beauty, I must recall that it is a library, not the museum it had become. The space of a fifteen-year assembly has only taken an 18-month journey to fill in ten minutes. As libraries go it now challenges you to read through the diversity. It commands you to find the flow of grace in multiple thoughts spanning millenniums. It squashes any notion that God, the true living God, creator of the universe, could be contained in any binding or box. I am… once again drawn by curiosity… and in awe of what little I know to how vast I see the potential laying before me. To be on the move again is as exhilarating as it is liberating…

So, what book are you stuck in? Maybe it’s time…

This is possibly the most religious season this nation has ever experienced. Everyone is praying!

It seems that we’re praying for, or better yet, against a perception of evil. Here is the run down:

Camp A is praying that their candidate will overcome the other. Camp B is praying that their candidate will overcome the other. Camp C is praying that their candidate will be able to sway people from the other two camps to show how truly great their candidate is in hearing the voice of the people. Camp A and Camp B aren’t concerned about Camp C except for the prayer that they don’t want Camp C to pull votes they feel rightfully belong to them and thereby exert an unfavorable influence on their most favorable candidate.

Camp D is fed up with all the camps and is praying that they all will wake up to the utter stupidity of the entire process which hasn’t even addressed they REAL issues facing the nation. Camp E doesn’t believe that there is any god capable of rationally understanding the prayers of the other camps so they’re praying that this all ends soon so that life can return back to normal. Camp F knows the truth and is praying that none of the other camps find out. Camp G…well you get the picture. As I said, everyone is praying.

Have you ever considered how at the heavenly department of prayer, ministers are responsible for summarizing these individual requests and presenting them to the Supreme God of All? There are not several gods battling out who gets to have their camp’s prayers dominate the others. There is just one God, who takes all these prayers and…

Have you ever considered that all these prayers from every camp don’t accomplish anything? I know some of you will take exception to this claim, especially is your candidate or movement is chosen. But what about those camps who didn’t prevail? Were their prayers less important, less vital, less holy? What if all these prayers which demand our will be done on earth, never even reach the ear of God simply because they never pass the “your will be done” test?

What if we prayed: Father, we don’t know what is right for all of us, but you do. Please protect us from us. Let your perfect candidate for this season which is ahead of us be chosen by you, and help us to see and constantly remember this. Let that illusive issue of unity become a manifestation during this time as we seek only the best for all people. Thanks for your love and concern for our well-being at all times and in every season, including this one. Amen.

Too simple? Doesn’t seem to address the issues? Maybe that’s the point. Our issues aren’t the point, His are. So let’s pray from that position the next time we turn on a debate, see a commercial, watch a video, talk with a friend or listen to a sermon about the importance of voting. The issues are never what we can readily see. They are always what are revealed to us in true prayer – prayers which show us the evil we have towards those who aren’t like us.

We live in a world where the mysterious is avoided. We must have everything figured out. Yet, it is mysteries that drive us into new territories. Discovery broadens our ability to communicate more effectively. Children love discovery, adults hate it. So here is a mystery for you. Consider the following:

Eleven men, frightened for their lives, are huddled in a room, doors securely locked and bolted, windows boarded up to keep prying eyes from determining their whereabouts. Emotions are reeling as they try to come to grips with the publicly displayed, politically sanctioned death of their friend just three days prior. Concern for their safety in a city where they are only visitors is their main dilemma as they know how any movement to leave the city will mean their imprisonment and potential death.

As they express their fears and anger towards one another and to the governing forces who are looking for them, their friend, the one who was murdered, suddenly appears before them and exclaims, “Peace.” This is not an aberration of their collective grief-stricken thoughts. This is flesh and bones, poke-a-finger-here-to-test-the-fact reality no one expects. It’s a mystery!

Ok, what you just read is the encounter of the disciples with Jesus, in case you didn’t recognize it. So for a moment, put yourself in that same room, feeling the exact same emotions and experiencing the exact same response of seeing Jesus, who you saw die and be buried just three days prior. Understand, everything you’ve ever been taught by churchianity, hasn’t been developed yet. You’re catching and processing this moment first hand.

So how many of you think that when this event occurred, in the ensuing pandemonium which it unleashed, someone shouted out, “All right now. Let’s be adults here. Calm down.”? Not many of you, right? However, it would appear that this is precisely what happened simply because we have no record of the most important discovery question every child would have asked: Why and how did this happen?

You might be thinking right now I must be sorely mistaken, you’ve got a whole book which tells you, and anyone else who will take the time to read it, why and how it happened. I, cordially, would have to disagree with you on this. What you possess in your book is an attempt by many authors to explain a mystery. Furthermore, you also draw on “attempted traditions” passed down through history to explain a mystery. In trying to be an adult with the assurance that you understand things, you, and I must include myself, have accepted these traditional attempts of explanation to make us feel certain about this mystery.

Over the past several months I have been in a very intense study on this question. Nowhere in any of the gospels, Paul’s writings, the author of Hebrews, or in John’s works do we find an answer to this mystery. Before you jump to a conclusion here understand something: What we have are metaphors that try to get us to relate to an unexplainable situation in some capacity in order to soothe our angst for an explanation. Those recorded metaphors came from the daily dialogue of the people during that period. We don’t possess the exact same understanding of those metaphors today even though we think we do. Our “attempted traditions” have compromised the essence of the original metaphors.

Go into the gospels and look for the question, or better yet, the response to the question from Jesus himself. It’s not there. (This is a mystery in and of itself.) Consider though, how Jesus instructed the disciples how they need to approach the kingdom of God as a little child. Children will ask the questions and every parent knows this. Kids also will not ask and instead trust in the parent’s cares for them. Is it possible that the singularly most important question is not recorded purely as a means to demonstrate our trust in such a great love? Do all the explanations we have simply demonstrate the grown-up response to a mystery which we all as children are called to discover? Have you calmed down in the kingdom of God or does the singularly most important question still pull on your heart?

If you look in the book of Ephesians, you’ll find a claim how the marriage relationship between a man and a woman is a mystery. This is the same with our relationship to Christ. “How and why is this possible” becomes a metaphor in our conversation with the Godhead only as we enter into the relationship. Our metaphor will not fit on someone else just as a marriage can’t be the same by adding a third person to the union. (Notice the use of the metaphor!) Unfortunately, all across the globe, people believe, or better yet, are certain, these recorded metaphors of a relationship with Christ are the “be all and end all” of the discussion. They have grown up in Christ!

In my studies I am becoming ever more aware of this glaring reality of how we don’t know anything but are damn good at faking it as though we do. Some of you upon reading this will assume that I don’t know a damn about this matter as I have presented it, to which I’ll wholly agree. You see I’m still seeking, searching, entertaining the question as a child. I can’t admit to being a grown up to a mystery which still draws me ever deeper into a divine relationship. Being certain just isn’t worth the loss of exploring the wonder and the awe.

Just how much do you hate freedom? Silly question, right? Who would ever consider not being free? This nation after all is the “…land of the brave and home of the free.” Brave, and some self-admittedly not so brave souls have given the ultimate price to insure freedom for the people of this nation, and for others around the globe. However, there were no stipulations on what that hard-won freedom could look like.

The freedom that affords me the luxury of writing these thoughts for you to read also affords you the luxury to respond in approval or disapproval. Therein lies the dilemma: The duality of either/or thinking. Freedom is not about me being right while you’re wrong, or visa-versa. Freedom is about you and I both being right/wrong as are others too. Freedom is both/and thinking.

What if I champion a firm belief in peace? My activities and communication with others promote such a belief. Does this mean I cannot say something which is counter to the common mood if it’s going to disrupt my belief in peace towards others? Am I required to remain “humble” and not bring up a different viewpoint which might be interpreted as being “arrogant, brash, or hostile” from those who don’t share my beliefs?

What if in displaying my belief in peace I refuse to endorse people, companies, products, news, movies or music that glorifies violence? Am I free to call attention to these violent actions as a means to highlight peace if peace is apparently counter to the main-stream thought of the day? Am I permitted to proclaim peace by calling out hatred spoken from all sectors of class (i.e. rich, poor, upper class, lower class, white, black, red, brown, yellow) if “class” is simply used as a tool to create either/or thinking? Does freedom secure privileges to be violent when others don’t accept your depiction of independence?

True patriotism, versus party patriotism, endorses all freedom won which allows all people to express their beliefs, in whatever form, without holding one set of beliefs dominate over another. Yes, all people have opinions; but not every opinion will smell sweet to all. Freedom allows all opinions to be expressed, adopted or discarded without seeking conformity.

If you fail to recognize that there are a number of people groups (i.e. Indians, Negros, Chinese, Irish, Polish, woman, children) who were exploited and marginalized in the formation of this nation, then your story of history is hampering your social development. Believing that your group has the final say in what freedom looks like without considering a different belief from those I’ve mentioned will surely shock, and possibly send you into a tailspin.

Life, in all its various colors, matters when we look beyond the closed doors of our home or community and recognize that peace with my neighbor creates peace in my household. What will I do to insure peace with my neighbor? Should I try to understand how he sees freedom? Does my form of freedom keep him from feeling free in a country founded upon liberty gained by violence? Does my 2nd amendment over-rule his 1st amendment belief, amendments gained by violence to insure peace and tranquility for all?

Agreeing with or criticizing the actions of a few without consciously looking at the underlying issues they are presenting are not steps to creating peace as much as sweeping the issue under the rug, again. I for one, like my rugs to lay flat; yet it seems that the rugs of this nation appear more like the Rocky Mountains. It would appear that there is a vacuum in social discourse which is greatly needed among all of us, not just at the upper levels of government or academia. All voices need to be heard rather than a few who hold the bully-pulpit of the country. Freedom guarantees such luxuries.

Some of you may feel inclined to comment on my remarks here. I appreciate that, however, I dare you share this, whether you like it or not, as a part of your comment and then experience the culture of freedom we’ve created in this nation. Some of you may be surprised.

Again, here is the thought I began this study on: Many talk and teach about grace but few, very few, are comfortable with the price.

In my book There’s Only Grace I explored the reality of the incarnation of Jesus and his birth as a bastard. Yes, you read that correctly. No disrespect intended, simply the fact of being born to an unwed mother. For all the doctrine, glitz and glamour afforded our savior, somehow the social stigma assigned to people of his birth just doesn’t seem to be noteworthy. How can this be a price of grace?

Ask yourself: Am I comfortable with a bastard Savior? Does this trouble you? It doesn’t seem to be an issue with the Father, who in all the planning of creation intentionally made this a point of demarcation, “… born of a woman, under the law…” What was the motive for such a move in the reconciliation of mankind? Did you just see the clue.

Are you comfortable with a price of grace that eradicates distinction? Can you welcome an exclusive Savior who is all inclusive? Is it comforting to know your grace applies equally to even the worst hardened, sadistic, ISIS loving, LBGT, drunken, drug addicted, republican/democratic, us versus them person out there? If I missed anyone in that description, are you comfortable with them being excluded?

This is the price of a free gift which operates from an understanding of reciprocal giving. All really does mean ALL; not “my four and no more…” Are you able to find comfort in opening to the disenfranchised the gift that says “…as you have done to the least of these you have done to me…” Comfort does have a price.

Here is the thought I began this study on: Many talk and teach about grace but few, very few, are comfortable with the price.

Grace is reciprocal. That is how the Greeks viewed it even when Solomon was dedicating his temple. So this isn’t some new facet that Paul created when he used the word in all of his letters. He drew on its history with a people who lived daily within a form of grace. They knew of the price grace established in their lives with men but now, God steps in and turns the tables on them.

So are you comfortable with the price of the Father turning the tables on you? What does this mean? Paul tells us in his second letter to the Corinthians that God was in Christ on the cross reconciling the world to himself. Yet the price that many don’t find uncomfortable is that God did not charge their trespasses, their faults, their slip ups, their offenses, their sins against them. No harm, no foul.

The tables turn when retribution no longer is the model, the representation of who we always thought God was. The price of grace in this area requires us to abandon our idol of a vengeful God for the Father who Jesus showed us; a loving, caring Father who desires above all else to be in fellowship with us.

Sure we talk about fellowship happening to us, but then we exact vengeance in some small insignificant way and think that were just following the pattern God showed in the bible so we’re justified. The price of grace sits comfortably until we can’t return the “favor” of displeasure.

Are you comfortable with the price of offering every cheek knowing another slap is coming? Is the price of realizing all of us stand equal through Christ, even the worst of us, comfort to your soul? Can you find the price of comfort knowing your pound of flesh demanded will never materialize?

The price of grace is more than we’ve ever considered if all we’ve ever considered was freedom from sin.

Over the past few months I have been involved in an intensely deep study on yet another facet of grace. I’m not prepared yet to reveal the wealth I’ve discovered, but I have seen this stream of thought trailing around that I wish to develop over the next few posts. Here is the thought: Many talk and teach about grace but few, very few, are comfortable with the price.

What does that mean to you, comfortable with the price? I recognize that we are saved by grace and that it is a free gift from God so that none may be able to boast. But does this statement relate to your comfort of the price? We had a late night salesman on our TV whose tagline was, “Free is a very good price!” But I don’t think that this is one of those things he would say this about.

In my book Grace for Shame I introduced one of the primary meanings of the Greek word, charis, which is transcribed in the bible as grace, as the nature of reciprocal giving. This was one of the concepts that Paul drove home again and again in all of his letters because it had such a rich history in the culture of the people he was speaking to. When he spoke of charis, everyone knew precisely what he meant, no translation required. They understood what grace cost and they were comfortable with the price. How about you?

Charis, or grace, is reciprocal giving. Christ gave his life so that you may live. But pay particular attention to what I’m about to say. This claim, Christ gave his life so that you may live, only speaks of one side of the transaction. Your part, your reciprocal act is the price. Now before you think that I’m saying there is a whole host of actions that you must undertake to make this work, let me make one thing very clear right from the beginning:

THERE IS NOT ONE ACTION YOU CAN TAKE OR ACCOMPLISH TO SECURE WHAT CHRIST HAS ALREADY DECLARED IS FINISHED.

So now are you comfortable with the price? Many aren’t. They believe that they must do something in order for finished to be, well…finished. They must read their bible more, or offer their time to caring for the… (fill in the blank)…or they must attend more prayer meetings, do devotions, sing in the choir, read more bible, attend a men, woman or couples retreat, pray more, read the bible more, and a whole host of other religious activities that will move them higher, closer, but never satisfied in what HE already finished.

Are you comfortable with the price of not doing something in order to be who you already are? Are you comfortable with not looking for others to approve of your lifestyle so that you can be who you already are? Are you comfortable with the price of being seen outside of your circle of friends enjoying the company of someone different? Are you comfortable with the price of missing church to be with a friend who can’t attend? Are you comfortable with the price of not being a church follower in order to be a disciple of Christ?

Grace is not a comfortable message for many people to hear because the price is too great. I’ll look at some more of these in the days ahead…

Here is the big question: What is the purpose of it all?

There are a number of people talking about what is God’s original intention for man. Almost without fail, they link that intention to the following verse:

Genesis 1:28 KJVR
(28) And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.

Their thinking is that the kingdom of God is all about subduing and dominion, as all of our myths about the nature of kingdoms lead us to believe, so this obviously is the foundation of our purpose here on this earth. Original intention is dominion-based. It is a comfortable doctrine that we can relate to since we see it being fulfilled in nation after nation in a variety of ways, right? Subduing one faction while giving rise to another; disposing one dictator while propping up one more acceptable; enabling one party while disabling the present one. This has been the model for eons and our religious structures have been there all along tending to both sides of the matter at the same time. It begs one to ask the question, what is the purpose of it all?

What if the religious structures we have relied upon to soothe our souls in the midst of competing desires has been looking at the original intention from the wrong perspective all along? Would that mean that our paradigm for kingdoms would be wrong also? Allow me to offer to you a picture of the original intention that maybe you haven’t considered to be valid. It comes from these verses:

Ephesians 1:4-6 KJVR
(4) According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
(5) Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
(6) To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Now I’m not too shy to say that the phrase “before the foundations of the world” seems like a long time ago, even before the events recorded in Genesis. So it would appear to me that the original intention of mankind has nothing to do with dominion but everything to do with establishing relationship. As a matter of fact, it would appear that this relationship business appears to be a issue that gives the Father a whole lot of pleasure. It even appears that the Father has pretty much determined that no matter how messed up we can make it in our life or the life of others, He has already fixed it so that none of us will ever be able to be left out of this relationship.

What does this kind of thinking do to our paradigm of kingdoms? Paul seemed to understand the significance of this in these verses:

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 KJVR
(18) And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
(19) To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
(20) Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.

Ambassadors are people who represent kingdoms. In the old mind-set they are agents of dominion terrorizing nations through forcing the will of the countries they represent upon other less favored nations. This leads to wars and rumors of wars to spread across the globe. These representatives have no desire to maintain relationships except for how it would align with the interests of the kingdom they hold allegiance to. Remember, when one party recedes and another rises, ambassadors simply change their mind, or repent, to meet the new vision to an old paradigm.

Ambassadors of reconciliation are not concerned with subjugation. Their entire focus is on making one whole in their relationship with the Father as well as with others. They follow the model of Jesus as a mediator to bring healing to fractured lives while drawing upon the grace of the Father to impart a new vision of unity in the union of an eternal family. These agents of the kingdom of God embrace the mantle of servanthood through grace and love. They don’t practice the golden rule simply because, despite what they believe will or won’t work, whatever actions it takes, even loving their enemies, must be followed to secure wholeness and harmony.

So if the question above arises within you, as I know it will time after time, realize that you are being tested to either accept dominion by subjection or authority through wholeness. Grace operates in both however the path of least resistance often requires the greater attention to maintain the status quo.

These days it appears that everyone is trying to getting on the grace band wagon (with the possible exception of a number of people who are opposed and you know who they are.) It seems that “grace” is the hot topic of the moment despite the fact that Paul has been proclaiming it for almost 2,000 years now! But that is beside the point. The point is: are you really that versed in grace?

I’ve been on this journey since 2010 and believe me, when I think I’ve reached the last thing to know about grace, a sudden onslaught of new revelation overwhelms me. If you’re sitting in your easy chair thinking you’ve reached the peak simply because you don’t live under the law or that you’re free to do anything you damn well please, honey, you’re still in spiritual training pants. (If this type of language offends you, Pampers then are more your fit.)

If you’re a grace guy, let me ask you how you’ve come to deal with the following issues in your theology?

How inclusive have you become? Who do you still look down upon? What people group have you recently riled against?

Do you still think that God hates certain people?

How have you reconciled the concept of an eternal separation from love known as hell?

How have you dealt with the satan and its influence in your sphere of influence?

Have you finally recognized that there are multiple perspectives in the scriptures that either accept or deny grace?

Have you ever wondered who truly wrote your favorite book in the bible?

How are you dealing with the sacrifice of God in Jesus?

What is the one book of the bible that you wish wasn’t there because it has no purpose for being there?

Have you finally buried Adam?

How have you handled the understanding that the first church was known by either being comprised of Jewish Christian or Gentile Christians and rarely each being assembled together?

Have you decided to preach the message of Christ as Paul did or as Peter did?

Have you finally decide to refer to material out of the fourth gospel rather than the book of John?

How are you dealing with the first 11 chapters of Genesis as a depiction of God’s grace?

How is grace daily working for you in the face of a long term illness or infirmity?

Why would I ask such random questions? Truly, this has been, and still is my journey in grace. Some might think that these topics don’t warrant any answer. My belief, now after having uncovered most of the answers, is quite the opposite. My dilemma is that now understanding what I do, it is difficult to listen to those who profess to know the answers but their ignorance betrays them.

Let me assure you, I don’t feel superior for this understanding. I hunger still for greater understanding, but I also long for those who profess themselves to be grace guys to at least entertain one or two of these questions. Conversations would be so much more enjoyable.